I know this because I went out on Saturday and I felt like I was. OK, so everyone I was out with was 8 or 9 years younger than me, but thats not the reason. The reason I felt old was because my back hurt, I felt tired and I didn’t enjoy myself that much, I kept thinking I’d rather be at home.

I injured my back a few years ago playing in goal for my university football team and it’s since been prone to bouts of stiffness, normally due to lifting something very heavy, but there has been a growing stiffness for a few weeks, most probably due to being constantly seated for 8 hours of the day (which is also the probable reason why I have increased in width to the tune of about a stone and a half in 9 months). So anyway, my back hurt and I felt tired.

I also would have preferred to be at home. As strange as it might sound to my friends, I haven’t been out drinking since New Year’s Eve and it’s March. 2 months. Until last year, I was out once every weekend without fail. Before that, it was both weekend nights and when I was a musician, it was 5 or 6 nights per week. Man, how I’m still alive… But Saturday night I kept thinking I could be at home watching a film, or in bed or otherwise relaxing, instead of spending money on mindless consumables and paying £12 to get home, which I can barely afford. I’ve never earnt more or been so continually broke, I pay bills and thats it, I don’t buy anything (heh, realisation of what adult existence is like). Going out to clubs used to be my relaxation, I could just let loose, but these days I just prefer to catch up on my sleep. I need to have my head on the pillow with my eyes closed by 11pm or I’m too tired to speak to anyone for 3 days.

Man, I’m old and I’m not even 30 yet. I suck.